Fri, Apr. 29th, 2016 06:22 pm
sneezedesu: gakuran!yamato is best yamato (Default)
[personal profile] sneezedesu
 Drags hands down face what do I DO about this CHILD...!!!!! 

I have two main kouhai I talk about on the internet. One I simply call "kouhai," the other I call "other kouhai." The distinction is that kouhai is female, and also the one I talk to the most often; the other is male, and reappears from his little bubble of life once every three months or so in the form of a random text or snap. There's one other distinction, though. 

I have a really weird halfway-kinda-not-really-but-actually-really-bad high school level sort of crush on "other kouhai." 

I cringed typing that out. Can you see how much in denial I am. 

It's terrible. Like really terrible. He's super lazy--too lazy to bother with a relationship. He'd do almost anything for money, as long as he wouldn't necessarily get into legal trouble. He's so chill about anyone and everyone that sometimes I have to stop and wonder if he even has morals (he does). He's too obsessed with League of Legends to bother about most other things in life. And yet. And yet!!!! 

I still cannot stop being somewhat slightly maybe too infatuated with this child. (It's honestly really terrible how, after four years of friendship, I still cannot shake the idea out of my mind that maybe, just maybe, we could make being an item work.) 

Half Taiwanese like me, half Cantonese unlike me. Also born in March, also an Aries. Lean, tan, and occasionally wears glasses when he hasn't slept enough for his hard contacts to work. 5 feet and 8 inches tall. Played libero on his volleyball team. Was the captain his senior year (though he claims it was more by default than anything). Also played for his tennis team because his high school required students to play two sports, but loved volleyball more. Was too lazy to properly work out when on his sports teams, and so would only do leg work outs since they were the least trouble, and so ended up with nice legs but a crap upper body--his words, not mine! Tends to gravitate towards kpop and r&b music. Generally the chillest person I know. 

He's two years younger than me, yet I constantly forget that--even now, in our four years of knowing each other. (It's not just me though--even today when we met up for lunch he forgot that I'm actually two years older rather than one year older, lol.) 

We got to know each other through volunteering at the local museum of natural science. The friendship continued when we exchanged emails, and would share music with each other. It tapered off as he got busier with his own life, and then resurfaced when I asked how university applications were going. It turned out he would be a prospective student staying at my dorm/college. Later on we'd find out he would actually become a part of the Martel family for his four years at our university. 

His life's obsession and love is League of Legends. He used to play volleyball in middle school and high school, but then dropped all form of physical activity upon entering university, and now wails about how physically unfit he is. And yet, he continues to refuse to work out (lol). He keeps insisting that he should teach me the ways of volleyball. He's obsessed with pen spinning. He's taken up cardistry. At one point, he regularly used tinder to find random people to chat with. 

We've stayed up past midnight chatting about anything and everything. Put us in a room together and we will probably chat for hours. (I mean, we met up for lunch today, but ended up chatting for four hours straight.) We relate to each others' struggles with parents. We both have parents diagnosed with cancer, though his parents are both now in remission, and have been for a good while now. 

I've taken him to the formal dance twice. The second time we were actually on the dance floor when a slow song began, and people began pairing up, and he just stood there, drinking his Sprite. Though I was somewhat disappointed, I was also a little glad--I don't think I'm quite ready to lose him as a friend just yet. 

The walk back to campus from the dance was freezing, and I didn't have my jacket, so he rubbed my hands between his, lol. It was also a way to stabilize me and my quickly weakening legs (from having worn 3 inch heels for 4 hours).

He sees the good in everyone, but is a huge pessimist when it comes to human nature, and to life in general. He thinks he doesn't try hard enough in life, yet makes no changes to fix it. He thinks he's unattractive (which is a lie--he has his charm points). He thinks that all really needs in life is enough money to marginally get by, except for a nice computer setup and good wifi. 

There's a lot more I could add but I'm just going to stop there lol... 

I notice all the little things, and remember things he's said, months later. It's honestly ridiculous. 

I wish I could tell my brain to stop, that it's futile. He wouldn't be a good boyfriend anyway, let alone a good husband. But he's nice, interesting, and fun to be around, and I evidently just can't stop.  

Holds head in hands. I really don't know where I was going with this anymore. Basically this child is not good for my health..!!!!

snz. /o-o/

p r o f i l e

sneezedesu: gakuran!yamato is best yamato (Default)

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